Book Review – Sex Addiction: The Partner’s Perspective by Paula Hall

Eoin Stephens reviews a new book by leading UK Sexual & Relationship Psychotherapist Paula Hall. Sex Addiction: The Partner’s Perspective. A Comprehensive Guide to Understanding and Surviving Sex Addiction For Partners and Those Who Want to Help Them.

You wait years for a new book on Sex Sex Addiction the Partners PerspectiveAddiction, written by an experienced practitioner on this side of the Atlantic, and then three come along at once.

Following her own Understanding and Treating Sex Addiction (2012), and Thaddeus Birchard’s CBT for Compulsive Sexual Behaviour (2015), Paula Hall has now added another substantial contribution with Sex Addiction: The Partner’s Perspective: A Comprehensive Guide to Understanding and Surviving Sex Addiction For Partners and Those Who Want to Help Them.

My own therapeutic work with sex addiction has certainly highlighted for me the fact that partners can experience an added level of hurt, trauma, betrayal and shattering of trust when they are faced with this type of addiction. This reality is very clearly addressed in Hall’s book, under chapter headings such as:

  • Why sex addiction hurts partners so much
  • Surviving the trauma of discovery
  • Repairing self-identity and self-esteem
  • Rebuilding trust

With novel sexual opportunities now so easily accessible via the internet, this is an increasingly important area of therapeutic work. It is also a complex one, so books such as this are vital and repay detailed and repeated study. It is realistic but hopeful, and the author’s experience as a psychosexual therapist adds a welcome positive dimension to the long-term picture in relation to sexual recovery.

The Partner’s Perspective has been written to help partners and those who care about them to survive the shock of discovering their partner is a sex addict and to help them make decisions about the future of their relationships and their lives.

This book will be of benefit both to practitioners and to those who may find themselves in the situations described in the book.

You can purchase this book on

Counselling Kildare

10 Ways to Prepare for Therapy

People engage in therapy for a wide variety of reasons and each individuals experience of therapy is unique. The therapeutic relationship that is developed gently over time with your therapist is a vital part of the process, as you become more comfortable sharing and communicating your thoughts, fears & feelings. Making a commitment to this process and preparing for your sessions is the key to getting the most out of therapy. Here are some more of our therapists suggestions;

  1. Be prepared to talk about yourself.
  2. Identify your main reasons for attending therapy.
  3. Think about what you would like to get out of each session.
  4. Take time to reflect on your previous session.
  5. Be open to exploring and finding new ways of thinking or dealing with your situation.
  6. Become aware of your thoughts and feelings between each session.
  7. Identify anything that you feel reluctant to tell your therapist and try not to withhold information.
  8. Be as open and honest as possible.
  9. Make time around each session so that you are not rushing in or out of your appointment.
  10. Complete any homework that was agreed and take some time to prepare for each session.

Making a commitment to the therapeutic process and preparing for sessions is the key to getting the most out of therapy.

To find out more about our private confidential counselling and psychotherapy services in Dublin & Kildare visit our website

The Centre for Addictive & Problematic Behaviours

We provide a range of counselling and psychotherapy services to adults and partners troubled or affected by problematic behaviours and potential behavioural addictions. To find our more about problematic and addictive behaviours click here. Some of the areas we work with are below;

  • Problematic Behaviours
  • Behavioural (Process) Addictions
  • Pornography Addiction
  • Sex Addiction
  • Gambling Addiction
  • Drug Abuse
  • Substance Abuse
  • Gaming
  • Food

“We cannot become what we need to be, by remaining what we are.”                                                           Max DePree

An initial assessment can help begin to establish what core areas the client may need to address in order to overcome any problematic behaviours. Appointments are for 50 minutes. Find our more here